The Most Horrible Fanfic Ever
by Childishdetective
Summary: A Lee/OC sort of fanfic. My first attempt at fanfiction, period.
1. Chapter 1

The sun's rays cast down on me from between the trees of the vast forest. I like the quiet here, and the village was much different from the noisy city I had come from. It was like everyone knew each other, everything was so peaceful. Some days when I walk past the training grounds I stop and stare at the students, there every move mesmerizing to me. I never had any great dreams but when I see their faces I see someone who is determined to prove their worth, someone who has a goal and would risk their lives to achieve it. They were inspiring, but the whole concept of becoming a great ninja intimidated me a bit. I had little courage and even less physical strength. Yet, I can appreciate the art of it.

Finally I reached the large oak tree, the one I sit and eat my lunch under almost every afternoon when I get the chance. I set down the container of rice and chicken and pulled out some napkins from my woven bag. Suddenly, a faint sound came from behind me. It sounded like a young boy's voice. He was counting.

"One, two, three…"

I peeked out from behind the thick trunk.

"Four, five, six…."

It was a teenage boy, not much older than me, 13. He had bowl-cut jet black hair and wore a green jumpsuit with orange leg warmers. I noticed that instead of wearing his headband around his head, it was tied around his waist. All the kids I saw at the academy wore it around their forehead. He seemed to be kicking the side of a skinner tree trunk.

"Weird," I thought, not knowing I whispered it out loud. The boy sharply turned and looked at me, his face dripping with sweat.

"You know, it is not polite to stare," He said. His eyes were so round and so dark it was hard to break my gaze. I stood up and dusted myself off.

"Oh…sorry," I stammered, looking down at my feet.

"I have not seen you before," the boy's serious expression turned into a smile. "Are you new to Konoha?"

"Yeah, I just moved here a few days ago with my mom and dad. They run the Tempura shop that just opened up at the end of town" I tried desperately not to take notice of his spandex suit, being the pervert I was at times.

"Well, it is nice to meet you! My name is Rock Lee. You can just call me Lee though," he smiled and he tilted his head to one side, bearing a goofy expression. I suppressed a laugh. "What's your name?"

"Erin," I replied.

"Erin? That is a weird name, you really must not be from around here."

"I get that a lot," I shrugged "So, were you training or something?" I gestured towards the tree.

"Oh, yeah. Gai sensei should be back soon, then we are going back to the village. You can come with us if you want." He continued kicking the tree, talking in between breaths. I continued to watch him curiously for a few moments and broke the silence.

"Would you mind teaching me some moves?" I asked, feeling somewhat stupid. I would probably make a fool of myself.

"Moves?" He repeated.

"Yeah, you're a ninja in training right? A Shinobi? Maybe you could teach me a jutsu or something cool like that."

The boy's expression changed to something that could be read as sadness and anger and disappointment all at once.

"First," he started, "You have to find your own way of the ninja."

"My own way of the ninja…" His words echoed in my head. I nodded, trying to look as determined as possible.

Lee looked as if he was about to tell me something before he started but changed his mind and began showing me various jumps and kicks which I made a lame attempt to copy.

"But, what about ninjutsu? Or maybe transformation jutsu? Can you teach me any of those?"

"Well, those all take a great deal of concentration. Even new student could not master them without a lot of practice. Besides, I can only use taijutsu."

"Woah, that's pretty impressive-" I started

"YES! Neji said I was a failure but I knew I could become a great ninja using only taijutsu!" He looked like he was about to hug me but backed off at the last second. I could feel a blush growing on the bridge of my nose and shook it off.

Hours past and no sign of Gai. Finally Lee spoke.

"Gai-sensei is unusually late…I think we should head back to the village before it gets too late," his voice sounded unstable, as if he were about to cry.

"Okay, just let me get my- AHH!" As I turned around, a girl with long black hair and scarily pale skin about my height was standing, staring at us with fists clenched, her yellow eyes locked to mine.

"What kind of noise was THAT?! Ahhh? You even sound pathetic…I guess this won't take too long after all," She approached me, so our noses were practically touching.

"I'll make this short and painful, redhead."

"Hey, what do you want from her?" Lee asked and pushed the girl into a nearby tree. "If it's a fight you are looking for, I will be your opponent."

"Fine, you're both pathetic." She punched Lee with with what seemed to be twice the force the boy had pushed her into the tree with. I stood there motionless, helpless, just watching. The boy struggled to his feet.

"I'M HALF SNAKE!!! FEAR MY WRATH!!!" Flames shot up from her hands and I could even feel the power exerting from the teenage girl. Lee dodged an attack and tried to get at her from behind but the opponent's reflexes were too quick for him and he got slammed into the ground once again. But this time, he braced himself and did a somersault in the air, landing gracefully on a tree limb. I saw his throw some metal objects at the girl which were only to be brushed off by what seemed to be an invisible forcefield, and the next thing I knew the tree was burning and I could hear a scream of pain coming from the firestorm….I have to do something…I have to do something…

Everything went black.

When I finally opened my eyes I was laying on the ground with Lee by my side and the girl, now wounded and bloody lying next to me.

"Thank you," Lee said quietly. My eyes tried to focus on Lee's face as he spoke. "You probably saved my life."

Saved his life? How? I don't even like killing ants in the summertime, let alone ever hurting a human.

"What…what happened?" My words slurred together as if I as drunk. He smiled and started to laugh a bit.

"I guess you found your way of the ninja," his expression turned serious again and sharply turned his head to look behind him. I saw his jaw drop and the girl beside me get up.

"Orochimaru-sensei…" She began.


	2. Chapter 2

"Erin," Lee said.

"Yeah?"

"Run."

"But…why?"

"Just go, NOW!!"

I looked up at him, my eyes filled with tears but I didn't know if it was from fear or sadness. I began to make my way into the forest but stopped, I had to see what was happening. The man Lee had told me to run from had long black hair, scarily pale skin (similar to that of his student) and yellow eyes. If a comic book villain escaped into the real world, he's what you would expect him to look like.

"Xmaru, what are you doing here?" The pale man said. His voice sounded serpent-like and sent a shiver down my spine.

"ALMIGHTY SNAKE LORD!" She shouted and saluted him. "I was extending my life sir!!"

"Fine," he said "Did you succeed then?"

She looked over at Lee who was standing from a safe distance, gawking at them like a pigeon on a park sidewalk, debating whether to beg for food or fly away.

"I see," The man said in his raspy voice. He flicked his tongue and it stretched so long that he could wrap it around Lee's neck and slam him on the ground. "Disgusting" I thought but not to forget my friend could die at this moment.

"…Then finish the job now."

I could see the girl, Xmaru take out something that looked like a knife and bring it close to Lee's throat. I don't know what I did the first time to save his life, but please, can I do it now? Tears started rolling down my cheeks and my eyesight blurred, which could have been a good thing since I get weak at the sight of blood.

"Dammit," I said over and over again punching the side of a tree until my hand was bleeding and raw. This doesn't happen in real life, this happens in stories, in movies, not in my life…I brought myself to look over at Lee and Xmaru and the man again, I forgot his name, and what I saw next was either a miracle or a freak of nature.

"GAH, get this thing OFF of me!!!"

A cat was clawing the mans head and was securely attached to it with it's claws from what I could tell. Lee was dropped to the ground and let out a moan, he had a gash across the side of his face but he seemed to be conscious. I wanted so much to go over there and say how happy I was that he was okay…and it was then I realized that I just met him, why do I care so much about him? Why was I staring at him in the first place? Am I some sort of stalker?

I discarded that though and quickly returned to reality.

"Don't worry sensei, I'll get it off!!" Xmaru tried to pull the cat off as hard as she could but it wouldn't budge. I laughed but tried to keep quiet.

Finally the cat jumped off, revealing the man's now scratch covered face.

"Crap," he said. "Now I new face."

It looked like an orange and white tabby, it had a hidden leaf village headband worn like a collar and a marking that made it look like it had a scar across one eye. It stood on two feet and did some sort of sign with it's paws.

"Meow!" Subsequently it multiplied. It looked like shadow clone jutsu but that's ridiculous. A ninja cat?

"Gahhhhhhh!! Get away from the snake lord you little rats or FEEL MY WRATH!"

The older man put a hand on the girl's shoulder.

"This is a waste of our time Xmaru, we should be going now. I'll find you other prey that is less…ugly," he glanced over at Lee and stuck out his snake tongue.

"Come along now."

When the sensei and student were out of sight I ran over to Lee who was trying to cover the wound on his face from the knife.

"Erin? I thought I told you to go," he said.

"But, I couldn't leave you…" I sobbed, trying not to face the boy.

"It's okay, I'm okay, you are okay right?" I nodded. "Then it is fine now, let's head back to the village. For real this time, okay?" I nodded again. Then, something furry brushed against the side of my leg. I looked down, it was the cat.

"Mew?" It looked up at me with a pitiful expression. "Um, here kitty, kitty," I chirped, not knowing what to say to a ninja cat. Does it understand humans?

"I think it likes you Erin," Lee elbowed me and I pushed him away jokingly. I picked up the cat so it's legs were hanging down and it's arms were stretched out like a zombie and shoved it in Lee's face. He smiled nervously and backed away.

"What?" I asked "Are you scared of the ninja kitty?"

"No! It's just that I have…allergies."

"Yeah riiiiigghtttt," I rolled my eyes.

We set off once again, to the village, swallowed up by the darkness of the night.

We were at the gate to the village when a faint rustling came from a nearby tree. Lee didn't notice but I turned to see if I was imagining things or not.

"Lee," I tugged on his jumpsuit. "Um, behind you…"

A giant Venus flytrap emerged from the tree and I fell backwards out of shock. And to make things worse, when the flytrap opened, there was a person inside. Or at least I though it was a person. It was half black, half white split down the middle with one yellow eye on his black side.

"Zetsu?" Lee asked.

"Lee…" the plant man seemed to be hiding something.

"It has been a while" Lee continued, eyeing the object that the creature was hiding. When I looked closer I could see blood dripping from behind him and smeared on his left arm.

"What is that?" Lee pointed to the white arm and came closer. Suddenly the plant-man collapsed and a teenage boy stood beside him with a large stick in his hand.

"Lee, you shouldn't be out this late, you know better…"

"Neji?"

"Yes, idiot. Who's your friend…don't tell me you got a girlfriend."

"NO!!" We both said at the same time, looking at each other.

"You people fail, more importantly…what is THIS?" The boy picked up a bloody leg off of the ground with a orange leg warmer still on it. Lee looked at it for a second and ran off into the village, screaming in horror and sobbing.

"Gai…sensei….It can't be." Neji placed the leg gently back on the ground.

"Hey kid," the plant spoke. I thought he was knocked out by the hit to the head.

The next thing I saw was the flytrap clamping down on the boy and blood spurting everywhere. I followed Lee, covering my mouth and wiping the tears from my eyes. I thought I was going to be sick.

I want to go home…I want to be safe…

XMARU POV

"ARGH!!!!! Where's my SASUKEEEE!?!?!?!??!" The snake man shouted flailing his arms around like an idiot.

"Stupid good for nothing, friggin' SOUND NINJA!!!!!!!!!! I want my Sasuke NOOOW!!!!!!"

"Lord Orochimaru sir!!!" I shouted saluting.

"DID YOU BRINGH ME MY SASUKE!?!?!?!" He shouted turning off angrily.

"Um sir, we just got back…How could I have?" I asked confused as my lord flailed his arms around pacing back and forth.

"Well GO GET HIIIM!!!!!" he shouted pointing to the door.

Kabuto ran in like the idiot I thought he was.

"Lord Orochimaru." I hated when he did that. LORD Orochimaru? He was MY lord not HIS!!!!! ARRGH!!!!

"We will find Sasuke, as soon as we actually MANAGE to get into the hidden leaf village."

"F U KONOAH!!!! I WANT SASUKEE!!!" He shouted storming off


	3. Chapter 3

I pulled out the key to the front door of the house from my pocket and entered slowly.

"That's strange," I thought. I was expecting my parents to be screaming at me for being so late as it was probably close to midnight now. I ventured into the dining room.

"Anyone home?" I asked. No reply. I made my way up the stairs to my bedroom. Instead, a sound came from my parent's bedroom. The door was left slightly ajar so I went in.

As if my day couldn't get any worse.

There, I found my parents dead, tied up in rope, tape over their mouths. I fell to my knees and the tears started rolling down my face like a faucet. When I finally got myself together I noticed my hand was covering something that felt like metal. I picked it up to examine it. It looked like a chain necklace with a pendant that looked like a circle in a triangle. I decided to keep it as a memory of my parents and put it on and ran. I didn't know where I was going but kept going until I heard his voice.

"Erin?"

"Lee?"

"I can't take it anymore, I just-"

Something furry, brushed my leg again. I looked down and it was the ninja cat. I would have been more happy to see it if it wasn't for my parents death, my friend's sensei's death and that boy in the forest being eaten.

I picked up the cat and it began to purr in my arms.

Then, I remembered. The boy. Lee didn't know his friend was eaten alive.

"Lee…"

"Yeah?"

"About Neji…He's…gone too."

We both stood there in silence for what seemed to be the longest time.

"Yo, dude. Can you, like, put me down?"

"HOLY CRAP!!" I threw the cat at Lee impulsively. "What the hell are you doing woman? Ever hear of animal abuse?"

"You can talk?" I asked.

"No shit Sherlock."

"It's a known fact animal ninjas can talk." Lee added.

"Well, you know, I'm not exactly used to talking animals where I come from."

"Now that that's over with, what exactly are you guys going to do now? I mean with your parents being dead and half your team being dead," he pointed at Lee who I could see was going to cry any second, as was I.

"Your parents are dead? Erin, I'm…"

The cat was eyeing my necklace now.

"HOLY CRAP YOU'RE A JASHIN?!!! RUN LEE SHE'S GONNA KILL YOU!!"

"Is that true Erin?" Lee took a step back.

"No! I mean, what? What's a Jashin?"

"You're necklace, it's the Jashin symbol!"

"Oh, this?" I held the chain up. "I found this on the floor by my…parents…"

"Well if you aren't a Jashin you shouldn't be wearing it. The only Jashin I know is this guy with white hair….Hidan was his name? Yeah, that was it. Hidan."

Lee nodded.

"I've seen him before and his curse. He's the member of the Akatsuki, a group of S-rank ninja criminals."

"Do you think he was the one who killed my parents?"

"Yeah, there's a good chance," the cat said.

"Then we will do everything to find him," Lee said, punching the air with his fist triumphantly.

"You know, he's immortal-"

Before the cat could continue Lee ran off, dragging me by my arm. I couldn't help but think about his losses and anything I could do for him but decided to keep quiet. If he was in a good mood, let him be.

But I was devastated.

"What the F-ing Hell!!!?!??!?!" The white haired man with a giant scythe shouted.

His finely painted green nails grasped the scythe angrily.

"What the hell is it now Hidan?" A man beside him who was masked asked rolling his eyes.

He was used to Hidan's ridiculous rants by now.

"My friggin necklace is gone!!! We're going back to get it!" He shouted turning around.

"You and your stupid religion Hidan. We are not going back. You're lucky I even picked up your headband that time. We are NOT going to get that friggin necklace."

"Who said anything about /we/?" Hidan asked smirking as he turned back the opposite direction he was heading.

"What the F--- Hidan. We have strict orders from Leader. The orders are absolute."

"Who cares. To bad for you though, you won't get the chance to make thousands from my /religion./" He said turning off.

"How many people exactly /were/ you expecting to kill?" Kakuzu asked interest rising in the idea of heading back to the leaf village.

"As many as it takes Kakuzu." He said with a smirk.

"Fine I'll come too…."

"ALMIGHTY SNAKE LORD!!! I WILL BRING SASUKE BACK TO YOU!!!" I shouted and then saluted.

Orochimaru stopped his epic rant and smiled a freakish oh to familiar pedo smile.

I nodded and ran off to find Sasuke. "He did his pedophile smile. I must be a good student. HELL YA!!!! SASUKE IMA COMIN FOR YUU!!!!"

I ran and ran and ran and ran until I spotted two people….And a hairy rat. Wait no that was that Lee guy.

"Holy friggin' crap!!!" I shouted my hands flaming.

"Well, well, well!! I found the prreeeey!!!! No that's not Sasuke….Oh well….. Prepare to die!!!" I shouted staring at them in the eyes.

I stopped and stared at the red head. "HOLY FRIGGIN CRAP WHEN DID YOU BECOME A JASHIN?? What the hell? You were like….Not Jashin yesterday! What the hell is wrong with you non snake loving freaks!!!!????"

"Back again?" Lee said and pushed me behind him.

"And what the heck is with this Jashin stuff? I'm not Jashin! It's just some necklace I found!"

"YEAH A FRIGGIN' JASHIN NECKLACE!! Why are you wearing it then?!"

"Why do you wear polkadot socks?" Lee mocked and unwrapped the bandages from his arms.

"I didn't kill you back in the forest, but I'm sure as hell I will now."

"Oh, yeah surrrreeee and Santa Claus is real."

"HE'S NOT?!!" The cat yelled and realized what he had said and shut his mouth.

"Ah crap, you got me!" The cat circled around Xmaru's legs.

"Oh, you picked up a pet on the way? And a talking rabbit at that."

"CAT," the animal corrected.

"Yeah, whatever. So let's get this started, shall we?"

Hidan jumped from behind from behind the bush swinging his scythe in the girls directions.

He jabbed his finger in my face.

"You!! You stole my necklace!!" He shouted grasping the necklace around my neck.

" You stole my necklace prepare to die a horrible death!!" Hidan shouted jumping up grasping his scythe.

"Fine! Take the necklace!" I unfastened it from my neck and held it out. The man with the white hair snatched it from me and gave me a hateful look.

"Now that I have my necklace…YOU CAN DIE!!"

"GATE OF REST OPEN!!" I heard Lee scream which made me jump and Hidan look behind me with a weird expression.

"WHAT THE HELL?!!" Xmaru shouted. "That's a forbidden technique! You can't possibly survive-"

"Oh, yeah and the art of immortality isn't?" Hidan said sarcastically.

In a flash, Hidan was knocked to the ground.

"Well, that hurt," he said rubbing his head. "What the hell's your problem?"

"I will not let you hurt her…Gate of life…OPEN!!!"

Xmaru stood there in shock while Hidan was being thrown into the air. I watched, looking up above, I noticed Lee's skin was red and honestly, I had no idea what was happening. But this was like no other technique I've ever seen.

"Ha, do you really think you can beat me kid?" Hidan said. "If you could kill me I'd let you…But that's not happening is it?"

He took his 3 bladed scythe and instead of chopping Lee's head off skimmed it lightly with one blade and held the tip to his mouth. Lee stopped for a second, as if he knew what was going to happen next which let Hidan have the chance to fall to the ground.

The man began to draw a large circle in the dirt with his foot.

"So long, sucker."


	4. Chapter 4

Hidan's skin turned black, it started at his feet and spread up. When the transformation was complete his body resembled that of a skeleton and he placed his scythe, blades facing first in front of his chest and slashed his skin harshly. Lee fell to the ground and cried out in pain.

"This is Hidan's curse," I heard the cat say beneath my feet. "Any pain he feels, Lee will feel too and if the wounds are bad enough…Lee will die."

"NO! I…will…not…let this HAPPEN!!"

It's like I released all the emotions trapped inside me at once, and what I did next horrified me and surprised me all at once.

"This is what you did to ME!!" Xmaru shouted. "It's the hair monster!!"

My hair extended and wrapped around Hidan, I squeezed him as tightly as possible and threw him out of the circle with every single bit of power I had. I knocked the scythe out of his hand which landed next to where Lee was laying on the ground. Once I saw he was unable to use the curse, I tied him to a tree and struggled to keep him secured.

"What the hell? What is this?" Hidan yelled trying to get free.

I looked behind me and winked at Lee who already had the scythe in his hand. Hidan's skin faded back to normal.

"Better luck next time!" Lee said as he swung the scythe, chopping Hidan's head off.

"Holy crap Lee!!" I stood there, horrified. How could he kill someone?

"He's immortal, don't worry kid," the cat started laughing, probably at my ignorance on the subject.

"Okay then…Like, I'm outta here," Xmaru said, disgusted. "IMA COMIN FOR YOU SASUKE!!" She ran off , flailing her arms like an idiot. I let go of Hidan, who was now headless and his body fell to the ground.

"Um, Kakuzu…wherever you are…A little help here?"

Lee picked up the decapitated head and stared at it. "You are coming with us," he held Hidan by the hair and let the head dangle. "Aw, what is the matter?"

"Your eyebrows."

"You are really not one to talk, soccer ball."

Hidan tried to bite his hand but couldn't do so since he was being held by his hair.

"Come on Erin, let's follow Xmaru," I nodded and we quickly began into the patch of woods that the girl had run into.

"Then why do I have to come?" Hidan complained.

"Because," I started "You killed my parents."

Kakuzu walked through the forest trying to find where Hidan had ran off to, ranting and trying to find his necklace.

His eyes widened in shock to find a bloody Hidan body flopped on the ground lifelessly beside a tree.

"What the hell…?" Kakuzu began staring at the body.

"He got his head ripped off…Again…."

He bent down and swung the body over his shoulder.

"God Hidan, I'm always doing these stupid things for you." He sighed and walked off in the direction that Lee, Erin, and Hidan's head walked off into.

"Ew, why is your cat all flabby?" Hidan asked, his head being swung back and forth when Lee walked.

"Hey, it's all muscle and fur," the cat said. "And by the way, the name's Herman."

"Riight……….. AND CAN YOU STOP SWINGING ME AROUND?!??!?" He shouted to Lee angrily.

"Not until you explain to my friend why you killed her parents." He said sternly.

Hidan rolled his eyes. "God, it's my friggin religion." He replied.

"Jashin meaning "wicked heart; evil design" is the god that I worship. Jashin, expects that all followers of Jashin - so named "Jashinists" - bring nothing less but utter destruction and death. And that is my religion. Can I GO NOW!??!?!"

"But why my parents? You just kill random people for the fun of it? WHAT KIND OF FRIGGIN RELIGION IS THAT?!!"

"Well, you know I like my life too…I have to kill someone to live. They were just there. It's convenient you know?"

"You're a monster, a murderer. We can lock you in jail for life can't we Lee?"

"There is no punishment facility in Konoha but I'm sure we can do something to make sure this does not happen again."

"I'm right here ya know!" Hidan shouted, annoyed.

"SO AM I!" The cat repated.

"Hey, Hidan!! I have your body!"

We all looked behind us. A man with read eyes and green pupils, wearing a mask was heading towards us.

"Kakuzu! Pretty please! Pretty please with sugar on top put my head back on?" He begged pleadingly.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "You got your head cut off by a two little girls and a rat?"

Hidan laughed. "It's not a rat Kakuzu it's just a kid with huge eyebrows. Now pleeeease put my head back on?"

"Well you know I was thinking of trading the body in for the bounty…."

"PLEEAAASEEE!!!!! PREEETTY PLEASE KAKUUUZUU!!!"

"I am not a rat!" Lee shouted clenching his fists.

"Fine Hidan I'll sew your head back on…" The masked man said sighing loudly. "Just if I do, SHUT UP. For the love of god Hidan. Shut up and stop your whining."


End file.
